For 16 Days This Mom Cared For Her Dead Baby As If She Were Alive, And She's Urging Others To Do The Same
A mom in the UK is opening up about a program that allowed her to take care of her 4-week-old baby 16 days after she died. Keep reading for the full story!
A mom in the UK is making headlines after she spent 16 days with her baby girl, who had already passed away.
According to The Daily Mail, when Charlotte Szakacs' daughter Evlyn died four weeks after her birth from a rare chromosomal abnormality, the heartbroken mom and her husband Attila were devastated.
The couple, who married in 2015, had been trying to have a baby for more than a year when they discovered they were expecting Evlyn.
But although Evlyn died just four weeks after her birth, her mother and father continued caring for her for 16 days after her death.
“So many people have never heard of parents being able to spend that time with their babies. Other mums reached out to me saying they think it would have helped, so I really want to raise awareness,” Charlotte said.
“I know it might not be the best option for everyone. But for us it was so important to be able to have that family time and just properly cuddle our little girl,” she added. “I think having the time with her made such a difference. Being able to do so many of the things you imagine like taking her out in her pram, it really helped emotionally.”
While Charlotte and Attila knew taking Evlyn home would be painful for them, they felt it was the right choice for their family from the start.
“I was really nervous about bringing her home because I didn't know if it would feel right, but it was so nice to have her there. And it wasn't just for us but for Evlyn so she got to come home,” Charlotte said.
According to The Daily Mail, while Charlotte and Attila discovered Evlyn’s rare chromosomal abnormality at their 20-week scan, they were praying for a miracle.
“When we got the news after the 20 week scan, Attila and I completely broke down. I think we broke down more then than when we lost her because at that point we just had no idea what it all meant,” Charlotte recalled. “The last thing you want as a parent is for your child to be sick and even after we were told she would probably never breathe on her own, we still clung onto this tiny bit of hope that she would.”
Sadly, almost immediately after she was born, Evlyn began suffering major health problems, and soon doctors advised the new parents to put Evlyn into hospice care.
“After she was born the doctors told us we should think about moving her to a hospice but I wasn't ready and I didn't want to believe what they were saying,” Charlotte recalled. “But over the next week she got worse and worse and we knew we could either watch our little girl die in a hospital, on a ventilator, surrounded by doctors and beeping machines or let her go peacefully in a lovely hospice.”
“It was the hardest decision you could ever make as parents but I knew keeping her at the hospital would just be selfish,” she continued. “Evlyn was moved to the hospice on January 10 and I have never seen her so calm. We got to hold her and cuddle her properly for the first time for an hour before they turned off the ventilator.”
Evlyn died surrounded by her loving parents just a few minutes later.
“She passed away just a couple of minutes after they took out her breathing tube. She was so weak she didn't take a single breath,” Charlotte said.
“I was holding her in my arms as she went and her dad had his arms around us both,” she continued. “We stayed at the hospice for 12 days and would take Evlyn out of her cuddle cot for five to 10 minutes for cuddles or to go for walks around the garden with her.”
After 12 days at the hospice, Charlotte and Attila took their baby girl home with them.
“And then we were allowed to take Evlyn and her cuddle cot home for the last four days. Her last night she slept in her actual cot we had got for her in our room,” Charlotte said.
Although Charlotte and Attila are still grieving the loss of their daughter, they’re glad they got to spend some extra time with Evlyn after she passed away.
“I would love to have her here, I would give so much to have that, but we have no idea what her life would have been like. At least now she isn't suffering,” Charlotte said.
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