Humor Columnist Candy Kirby from The Laughing Stork
Can you start off by telling our readers a little bit about yourself and your family? Can you tell us about each of your little ones?
My husband and I live in Los Angeles, where we pretend to have a modicum of control over our zoo consisting of our two children, Skye and Drew, and our cats, Marcy and Lucy.
Our kids in a nutshell: Skye is almost three, and enjoys assembling puzzles faster than her mom and interjecting “BUTT!” into as many conversations as possible; meanwhile, Drew, who just turned one, only keeps me around to serve as his wing woman with the ladies.
When and why did you start The Laughing Stork?
In my past life, I’ve worked in marketing in Corporate America, as a script writer for the soap opera “The Bold and the Beautiful” and as a celebrity humor blogger – but it wasn’t until I became pregnant in 2008 that I thought about writing family humor. So, in 2009, both The Laughing Stork and my daughter were born. Skye’s birth was almost as exciting as the launch of my site. Almost.
Your site is hilarious and you always find a humorous angle on what can be some difficult moments in the life of a mom. If you had to choose, what are the biggest lessons you have learned as a mother in these hectic moments?
Make an effort to take a step back from the chaos and savor those small moments with your kids, because the cliché is true: time flies, man. Especially once you become a parent. Also, and more importantly, always check your rear end in the mirror before leaving the house because it is very likely that a toddler clandestinely stuck a Dora sticker on your butt at some point. Or you sat on a Dora sticker at some point. Either way, Dora is surely stuck on your ass – and nobody wants to see her like that.
What have been some of the most hilarious moments with Skye and Drew?
Well, Skye is the queen of harnessing the evil power of toddler cuteness to her advantage. For example, I recently told her I couldn’t carry her because I had carried her all weekend and my arms hurt – to which she responded, “Your arm hurt? Let me kiss it…okay, all better!” Evil, right? (And I totally carried her then, despite the fact my arms fell off soon thereafter. Well-played, Miss Skye. Well-played, indeed.) And Drew is a total jokester and party animal. The second he hears music, he’s dancing like a maniac. I’m afraid he has inherited my moves, though. Poor guy.
What are some of your biggest challenges as a mother?
The biggest, I would say, is the same as so many moms’: finding balance between work and motherhood. I usually end up sacrificing work in some way, but I don’t regret that one bit. Another harrowing challenge: trying to explain the difference between Skye’s leggings and tights to my husband. It’s been a tough road to hoe, but I’m confident he’ll grasp the difference someday.
If you ever have alone time (cause that happens, right?) what do you do to “unwind”?
Every Friday night, I make a drink, kick back on the couch and watch E!’s “Fashion Police.” It is a little slice of heaven.
Who are your favorite celebrity moms and why?
Gwyneth Paltrow, Sandra Bullock and Kate Winslet. I have no idea what kind of mothers they are – because, honestly, what do we really know about any of these celebrities? – but I just have a feeling the four of us would have a fun with a pitcher of margaritas.
Do you have a parenting motto that you live by?
What doesn’t kill you, makes you a mother.
From your experience, what are the top five things every mother should teach their kids?
- Talk less and listen more.
- Dance as if no one’s watching, sing as if no one’s listening, and love like you’ve never been hurt.
- Forget about gender roles.
- Be kind.
- Learn from my grave mistake and know this: No matter how many appletinis you’ve had, do not convince yourself you can pull off “Last Dance” at karaoke.
What things do you hope your kids inherit from you and what things from their dad?
My language skills, creativity, driving skills and pronunciation of “nuclear,” and their dad’s quantitative skills, patience, ability to let things roll off of him and understanding of how a stove and oven work.